Wisdom of the Drunkard

" chinna chinna anbil thAne jeevan innum irukku "

sings Yesudas.

In those little pleasures does life continue to be. 

As we drive along, getting drunk sip by sip, I hear these words and realise that, off late, I have been skipping all those little pleasures of life. 

And later when I am questioned wtf is wrong with me, why am i making excuses to get drunk and why am i throwing my life away so easily, I try explaining my state of mind to him and he refuses to listen to me. 

He makes it very clear that I need to put an end to this.
A lot of people around me are worried.
This is not a version of me that they see often. And they want to know what it is that they can do to get me out of this. 

It's heartbreaking you know. That a man can't dwell in his sorrows for too long. He can't brood. He can't waste time in longing. He can't pour his thoughts out without being answerable to all those he spoke to/all those who read what he had to write. He needs to be alright all the bloody time. He needs to be upbeat, he needs to keep up his spirits, he needs to have a smile on his lips all the fuckin time.

Well, thank you so much for your concern. I really appreciate all the effort you are putting in to make sure I am okay.

I am absolutely okay.

I am no more of an addict than you. I am no more depressed than you are. I am most certainly in no bigger dump than you seem to be thriving in.

You know what? I am actually sorry that I came and spoke to you about my life. Remind me to punch myself in the gut next time I bring up anything about my personal life that isn't up to your satisfaction. 

Also, stop reading my blog if it bothers you so much. 

And stop me mid sentence if you aren't going to listen to me without being judgmental. 

Let me remind you of something very basic, yet very difficult to comprehend. 

I don't live by your rules. 

If you think I am wasting away, well, I am only wasting away my own bloody life and you sadly can't do much about it. 

What the fuck happened to all your sense of humour?
Can't a guy write what he feels like in his own goddamn blog without being taken too seriously? 

Just because I talk about violence doesn't make me a terrorist. Just because I look at a little girl on the street and say, "oh how cute!", doesn't make me a pedophile. Just because I drink, doesn't make me an alcoholic. Just because I tell you what's happening in my life, it doesn't make me weak. 

Well, here's the joke of the day. 
That little pleasure that Yesudas so earnestly sings about.

From me, to you. 

Get a life.