Monday, April 27, 2009

tattoos

I've been nursing this idea for a while now.
And then I saw Eastern Promises and the idea grew into something bigger.
Finally it has taken a decent enough shape to be blogged about.
Hopefully I'll incorporate it some day.

This is the idea.
I want to tattoo the names (or atleast initials) of all the men and women in my life who have been special. Around my pelvis. Like a belt. A low hip belt. But I think pelvis is not such a great region to get a lot of tattoos done and I'm sure it is gonna hurt a lot so I don't mind including my fleshy thighs. So basically all around my groin region, I'd tattoo names of people who have been special to me.

Now, I'll tell you how it started off. During one of our underwear conversations, I suddenly came up with this wild idea. To write just below the navel, "N was here" with an arrow pointing downwards with lipstick or something. Obviously, it was shot down. But me being me, pursued it for a while and even thought of suggesting that it should be made permanent with a tattoo!

Now think about it. Next time you are getting it on with someone, you are going at it with passion and frenzy and you are taking off your clothes in a hurry and then Wham! There it is. In bold greenish blue. N WAS HERE. Arrow pointing down. The awkward silence. One of those master card priceless moments. That's really what I wanted to achieve. But the person might get turned off by this sign post, take diversion and take a walk denying you the badly needed action.

I obviously did not want you to stop getting action for the sake of a silly prank that I wanted to play. But then it's too good an idea to be just forgotten about.
So, what I thought I'd do, I'd get the tattoo for myself!
So there are two possible lists that I could tattoo there.
1) List of men and women who had been there. There = groin region.
2) List of men and women who have played a special part in my life, ordinary people who have made me feel extraordinary things, who have changed my life in so many ways, who have played and still play significant roles in shaping me, who have i loved, will always love, who I have hated after having loved them to pieces, etc etc etc.

Now list 2 is more colorful and interesting than list 1. Simply because list 1 has very few names as of now and all the names in the list aren't as significant as those in list 2. (I do not intend to include those who had been there before I came of age.)
But list 2 is very long and includes a lot of people starting from my parents, school teachers, college profs, random strangers, lowes, best friends, mentors etc etc.
Now coming up with a consolidated, top 10 -15 list is a little difficult. So I'm planning to stick to only the most life changing few. And only taking into consideration the post-adolescent relations and influences.

Now, this list would also include people I am not in touch with anymore, people I hate, people I don't wish to think about, leave alone tattooing their names. But I should still acknowledge their role in my life, no? It would help me come to terms with my "past" *snort*.
But the reason that I like this idea so much is that when I take off my pants, I would be truly naked. Not holding anything back. Anyone who gets to see me naked would also get to know who all had a hand in making me the lunatic that I am. Plus, it would be a shocker. And make for great post sex conversations. What do you think?

Oh, and it would be updated on a regular basis, more names added to the list, names of my wives and kids and girlfriends and boyfriends and best friends and old age home friends...
I am also thinking of using the wordpress tags concept - bigger font for most important people and smaller font for the lesser ones. And also allotting different regions for different relationships. Left thigh for the men, Right thigh for the women and so on.

And when I'm really old, I'd be all shrunk and my skin wrinkled and it would all merge into a dull greenish patch, like moss on the steps of temple tanks, telling a story that only the steps know about. Monsoons would come, and with the monsoons, new aquatic life, fishes would come nibble at the moss and go away, not showing any particular interest, Kids would come play in the water, look curiously, and they would see new patterns emerging from it but before they lose their footing and plunge headlong into the tank, their parents would call out to them, ask them to get away from the dirt and the filth and they would run away having found something else to amuse themselves with.
And then the summer. And the drought.
The tank would go dry.
The moss would disappear.
Emptiness.

Friday, April 24, 2009

I feel like giving a foot massage.
Any takers?
I'm quite an expert.
A lot of people can vouch for that.
And I promise not to go any higher than the ankle.
Age, no bar. Sex, no bar.
Anyone?

First we'll use hot water to wash and a soft towel to wipe the feet.
Then we can pick from a variety of perfumed oils to suit your tastes.
I do not use instruments. My hands are my only instruments.
And you can choose between half hour and one hour sessions.
Yeah?

PS: And do not suspect my intentions. I really like giving foot massages!

Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: [scoffs] Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'.
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
[Jules gives Vincent a long look, realizing he's been set up]
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You give them a lot?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.
Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' a little pissed here.
- Pulp Fiction (1994)

Monday, April 20, 2009

The abandon

Sigh.
Never mind my random rants.
He was here on Monday.
We were high for most part of the 100 odd hours we spent together.
It was magical.
Picture this.
We rolled a joint and smoked up at the beach.
It was around 9pm.
The waves...
The warmth of the sand.
The abandon.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Irony

Think about it.
Here I am, pining away for a handsome alpha male to come sweep me off my feet, and there are all these amazing, beautiful women telling me these nice things, making their presence felt, and just being awesome in general.
Thank you all. You are very kind.


The count is five and a half so far.
Where the fuck are the dudes when you need them?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Why won't you?

Why won't guys buy me a nice tall drink, sit me down and go, "so..?"?
I know I can make you laugh out loud, sob with me, spout lines from your favorite movies, quote poets and heroes, sing out of tune for me, dance out of step with me and make it into your 1001 memorable nights. And all of this without breaking a sweat.
Sure, I'm not pretty. But, you'd be drunk before you know it and I'd be drunk before I know it and we'd be at it before anyone notices. I'd even make breakfast the morning after.

I guess it is the stubble eh?

PS: The Roll Call is still on. Please make your presence felt. Have a nice day.