My Dear Nirmala

I am late and I am drunk. 

My day was mostly shitty. 

It was majorly wasted in pointless pursuits and aimless wanderings.

I spent it watching MMS clips off some 3gp site and then later in the evening I went with my dad for a preview show to watch a yet to be released movie which was pretty much along the same lines.

And then I went drinking with Sid.
He challenged me. He said i was wasting my life. He asked me to risk it and goto New jersey or London or more practically goto Bombay where he said I should slog like a donkey for a year till I figure out what I am worth. 

And he even said go apply to Mukesh, of the Ambani family. 

I dunno if it was just drunk talk or if he really meant it. I am guessing he really meant it.
It was a lot to think about. I admit, he is right. I think I am wasting away. I should challenge myself. If I don't do it now, I will never be able to do it ever. 

You know what, I think I just might. I just might. 

And sometime during the day, i found this little piece online titled "HOW TO EMPOWER YOUR DAUGHTER"

• Let your daughter get dirty. Children need to explore the world around them and be physically active. Science, nature, sports, arts, and crafts--all these important parts of growing up entail getting dirty.
• Give her time to try to do a task herself rather than "rescue her" by giving advice or doing it for her. Encourage her to be persistent in working out her own solutions.
• Encourage your daughter to state her opinions and thoughts, and listen respectfully to what she says. If she has trouble speaking out in class, practice with her at home and help her plan strategies for the classroom.
• Notice how you compliment girls. Typically girls get compliments on what they wear or how they look, while boys get compliments on what they do. Try to give compliments on specific accomplishments, not general qualities. "Your speech had a powerful opening," not "You are a good speaker."
• Encourage her to participate in sports. Give her the support to join a team sport. Show her you value physical fitness and strength in girls and women.
• Watch television together and discuss the portrayal of women, how realistic it is, what messages it sends. Extend this to movies, videos, magazines, and computer games.
• Find ways to help your daughter develop math, science, and computer skills. Provide games that develop spatial skills such as puzzles, model kits, checkers and chess, etc. For older girls, look into after-school classes or summer camps on math, science, and computers.
• See that she learns some mechanical, building, and repairing skills, and becomes familiar with tools. Give young girls blocks and simple tools. Have older girls learn to repair bicycles and encourage them to take apart old appliances, etc.
• Emphasize the importance of developing talents and interests. Such pastimes give girls pleasure and a self-image that doesn't rely on appearances, popularity, or relationships. Girls need to be good at doing things as well as at dealing with people.
• Examine your expectations for girls and boys. Do you give boys more leeway to be rowdy, physically active, outspoken? Do you expect girls to be more domestic, caring, polite, thoughtful? Do you expect boys to help with outdoor tasks and girls with indoor ones?
• Introduce her to strong female role models. Expose her to a variety of career possibilities and women who enjoy their work. Teach her to assume she will have to make her own living someday, as most women do. Participate in Take Our Daughters to Work Day in April!
• Support your daughter in pursuing her interests and in taking risks. Be ready to help, but encourage her to make her own decisions and choices. Praise her for her intelligence, abilities, and initiative as well as hard work and dedication. Most of all, believe in her.

I think, I did many of those things for you, my dear Nirmala. You may differ, but I definitely did work along the lines of the article above. I was very protective of you, but I let you explore the world too. I watched you get your hands dirty, I taught you little things I knew, I helped you understand the person that you are, I supported you in your pursuits, I encouraged you to try harder, to push yourself, to set high goals, to believe in yourself.
And most of all, I listened to you. To everything you had to say. Very patiently. 

I hope you are enjoying your day off. I hope you had fun last night. 

I hope you get to spend time with people you like, with boys you fancy... without being silly about it. You are a big girl now, Nirmala. I understand that you are attracted to boys your age/boys elder to you. Its quite natural.

I hope you know that I am not going to prevent you from pursuing these boys. I hope you know that I am here for you, if you wish to talk about it. Sure, I am no expert in these topics, but I am willing to listen to you, without being judgmental, without getting angry in the pretext of being protective. 

Like i said, its quite natural and I will not stop you from talking to boys or spending time with them even though it makes me very jealous to think that one day my precious little girl will be swept off her feet and carried away into the sunset by some lucky fello.


Take care my lovely little one.

You will always be my favourite thing in the world.

lots of warmth, love and hugs,
Suresh