Tips from a self proclaimed poet

always skip a couple of words. 

never say sorry or thank you. 

write only when you hate yourself.

save the best for the weekends.

it doesn't matter where you sit. 


speak out loud, but whisper sometimes. 

create intrigue. change topics mid sen

flatulence is always a good topic.

never too proud, never too humble. 

do remember to pray on mondays.

sing,        flush,       dance,        wonder,      chew,       stretch.



look
for
a pattern. usually
works.



step
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 comfort zone.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
out of your 

beware, coffee is for closers only. 

when in doubt,

• A 
• B 
• C.

home is where the heater is.

double eww double eww double eww


go wander. 

do ponder. 

never pander. 

with six words, rewrite your resume.



friends are selfish. they usually help.


fathers sometime bother. mothers always smother. 

let go once. let go again. 

do you want to stay alive?








keep your distance from ------------------------------------------------         grammar nazis.








believe in pornography. it certainly exists.

don't believe in god-men. they exist.

rant rambunctiously. 

eat shamelessly. 

love unconditionally.