I remember you used to sing me this lullaby when i was very little...


I remember the kindness in your voice. 
I remember the pathos.

I know you cared the most for me of all your grandchildren.
Because you thought I was special. 
Because you strongly believed that I was a blessing from your favourite gods, a boon for your prayers and all the payasam you made and gave the children in your streets. 


I didn't treat you like you were special to me. 
You were just an old annoying lady who interfered too much with my life. 
I matched every act of kindness with an equal act of scorn.
I matched your every word of concern with equal disdain.


I wish I could have said sorry for being rude and silent all these years. 


I did feel sorry. 
But I never had the courage to look you in the eye. 
I was too proud to admit that I was wrong.
too proud to say it. 




It was too difficult to see you so weak and shrunk.
Just yesterday I came to your room and stood behind you.
I wanted to tell you everything will be alright.
I just couldn't get myself to do that. 
You were not aware of my presence.
You were in pain.
Waiting for your time
to go.






I can still hear your voice when i think very hard and try to remember. 


I wish I could sing this for you. Just once. 




Hallula Hai… hai hai hai apadalu kaayi
Kurra vaandranu kayi sriranga sayi
Kurra vaandranu kaayi sriranga sayi… 
Pedda vaandranu gayi perugala thandri 


Kanchikipoyeti gaajula setti
Kanchi kaamakshamma yevaraadapaduchu
Sivakanchi yelina sivuniki bharya
Vishu kanchelina vishnuvu chellelu 


Yevoori vaadavo yevadavaadivo
Mayintikochhavu maababu neevu
Aavooru eevooru anniyu tirigenu
Maababu chadivenu mamanchi chaduvu 


Chadivina chaduvulu andaru meccheru
Mechi mechi manchi bahumatulu iccheryu
Vachina bahumatulu anniyu choochenu
Maa manchi alludani maama pogidenu 


Chichose kukkaku siggela lede
Chinni maa advaitku nidarela raade 
Andaari maamalu chandamaamalu
Maa abbayi maamalu rama lakshmanulu 


Chinnariponnari chalakave nuvvu
Gunnamaami meedi panjarapu chiluka
Chilakamma chelaregi chintakommekkenu
maabaabu chelaregi maama bhujamekkenu 


yedavaku yedavaku verri na tandri
yediste nee kalla neelalugaaru
neelalu kaarite ne choodalenu
palaina kaarave pasibabu kanula


achhamma buchhamma adilacchamma
sri venkatesuniki yendare satulu
acchamma bucchamma adilachamma
andarilo chakkanidi alamelu manga