Saturday, August 20, 2011

fac(e)ts of life

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Anger
Denial
Bargaining
Depression
Anger
Denial
Anger
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Depression
Depression
Depression
Depression
Depression
Depression
Depression
Anger
Anger
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Bargaining
Anger
Anger
Denial
Denial
Bargaining
Depression
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Acceptance?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

This is what you wanted & this is what you are going to get.
This is what you plotted for, with arsenic, drop by drop.
You have done this a million times. In your head it felt like freedom.

Yet, why does sadness pour out of your ears, blood from your eyes?

The clay you held dear has finally yielded,
it has turned into a beautiful Koel, a Kokila
who flew in one summer and filled your heart.

It must now fly away far west.

Take heart, dear one. You shall always remain in her memories.
Always, and never.



But why fear?

:-)




O wind,
If winter comes, can spring be far behind?





Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Parting & death

So if you know someone, and you know he/she is going to be a part of your life only for a very short while, what do you do?
It's not like he/she has a deadline or an expiry date.
Lets say this person is going off someplace very far. Like Easter Islands, where they don't have facebook. Or gmail. Or prepaid cards. Or pigeons.
Or lets say if this person is going to war in the Himalayas. And you know that he is gonna be incommunicado?
You have about anywhere between two weeks to a month.
Would you rather spend maximum time with this person or would you try to detach yourself from him, slowly withdraw yourself and let him fade away into distant memory?
That's a tricky one, innit?


Now what if you are going to kill this person? That you are certain that death is going to be delivered to him from your hands. The date and location hasn't been fixed yet, but its gonna come hit him real soon.

What would you do?

Would you get closer and closer and closer and slowly suffocate him or go away, step back, one step at a time, step by step, step by step until you are a distant dot and then snipe him from far?

I haven't decided yet.

For every step back, I am taking one forward.

But I know for sure...


I am become death.




śrī bhagavān uvāca
kālo 'smi lokakṣayakṛt pravṛddho; lokān samāhartum iha pravṛttaḥ
ṛte 'pi tvā na bhaviṣyanti sarve; ye 'vasthitāḥ pratyanīkeṣu yodhāḥ (11:32 = MBh 6.33.32)

"The Lord Said:
Doom am I, full-ripe, dealing death to the worlds, engaged in devouring mankind.
Even without your slaying them not one of the warriors, ranged for battle against thee, shall survive."
-Bhagavad Gita

Sunday, August 7, 2011

whereas on one side i am gaining perspective, little by little.
on the other i am losing words.
One at a time.

whereas today i have a slightly better idea of what it means to be average, what it means to run a family at less than 10000 a month,
i have no idea how to express this to people.

I seem to have misplaced some of the sentences.

they are making strange patterns inside.
muddled up, swirling around
like the potty when you flush.

i can think up an epic and not know how to put it into words.

how unfortunate.


this is one of those battles with self where i am fighting with my perceptions of myself.
pls to ignore.
you know,
whats the thing i really like???
Is that people change.
People change.
perceptions change.
Opinions change.

And ultimately they move on.

And this too shall pass!

How convenient for me.

I don't have to be stuck with someone or something for too long.
They will grow up, grow old, grow tired.
And then I will be free.
freeee!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
hahahahahahahahahahahahahah