Bhenchod 2008

What a whorsht year that was! It is so unfortunate that it lasted 366 days and tortured the shit out of me. Apart from the time I spent in a state of 'highness', which happened quite often, 2008 sucked royally. I suppose I joined the wrong queue when they were handing out 'good year' cards at the end of 2007. 

Worst. Episode. Ever.

There were a lot of nominations this year for the worst incidents/events/episodes in my life. Momentary lapses of reason happened way too often and caused unpredictable damage. The first memorable event was my hard disk crash that happened in Feb. But then it came back to life early September by which time I'd gotten over the loss. Then there were the quarrels. The long silence that is yet to be broken. The shutting down of my first blog. The bastards in media milking a terrorist attack to boost their TRPs as I was unnecessarily subjected to sleeplessness because the telly was throwing bombs and bullets at me for 50 hours straight. I still don't understand two things 1) How could people glamorize and glorify terror to satisfy their benefits? 2) What the fuck is it about humans wanting to watch the horror show without batting an eyelid? Explain to me what the need is for someone sitting so far away and unrelated to the events unfolding to want to know every minute detail of it? What the fuck are you going to do with up to date information? Why do you want to watch the recaps over and over again? If you think I am a heartless asshole for not being 'bothered' about the terrorist attacks, you are a sick pervert to be so 'concerned' about it. 
Although it came close, the media's onslaught doesn't win the prize. The winning episode happened on June 21st. What should have been a happy drunken night turned into a sad, silly, horrible, sleepless one. Yaay! You won the award. Congrats. 

2000-Weirdness-8

Lots of weird-ass incidents happened all through 2008. Most of them were my own doing. But the surprise visitor I had one evening and the events that followed... whoa. Nobody else I know has got one like that.

Lots of other crazy things happened too in 2008. Women, for eample. Did you know that god originally intended to create only men? Yep, she wanted to throw a bunch of sane, sensible people onto a planet to see what they do. She wanted to watch them thrive and flourish. But she soon realised that they were way too sensible and reasonable and were progressing at a tremendous pace. They all lived in perfect harmony. In other words, they were very boring. Also she was a tad worried. At the pace at which they were figuring out things, they'd soon take over the planet and give her a run for her money. So she threw in a few women and guess what happened? Generations of men have given their lives for the cause but we are yet to figure out women. And she is sitting there, up above, having a good time, enjoying the chaos. 

Well, no doubts about it. 2008 is officially the worst year of my life. Yeah, I know I learnt a lot of life's lessons. But hey, I never signed up for it in the first place! 

Ah, it's time to say it! 

I. Never. Liked. You. 2008.

Lets see you beat that, 2009!

Bart is tied up to a lamp post naked as punishment for roller skating naked to Krusty's Burger joint as part of a dare by Homer. He is tired after getting laughed at by Nelson for a whole day. Homer finally shows up in the evening, refuses to take the rap for him and forgets to bring his pants.
Bart: This is the worst day of my life!
Homer: The worst day of your life "so far"!

- The Simpsons Movie

"I believe, that whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you... 
Stranger"

- The Joker, The Dark Knight (2008)