Albert

I'm gonna get this printed and have it mounted and keep it on my desk. Or if you are one of those nice people with a great handwriting or mastery in Calligraphy you should write this out in a big font or maybe paint it and gift it to me. I'll get it framed and have it hang on my wall.

"The struggle itself...is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

Jay see

Joseph Campbell, the dude who wrote The Hero with a Thousand Faces, he's a super cool fella in my books. I remember reading THWTF long ago (I managed to finish only a third of it. Songi lkb took it back from me! I'm still waiting for my copy. Bring it when you come in August) and this part right at the beginning has stayed with me. Campbell, a hardcore Freudian (Jungian too, actually), makes a lot of connections between myths and dreams and Freud's theories. He mentions this episode where some tribal people before the ritual circumcision tell the boy that "The Great Snake smells your foreskin; he is calling for it." and obviously the boy freaks out and goes to his Mum for protection. And then he mentions this other episode from one of Jung's patients. Apparently that fello had a dream where a snake shot out of a cave and chewed off his genitals. And Jung adds that this "occurred at the moment when the patient was convinced of the truth of the analysis and was beginning to free himself from the bonds of his mother-complex."

Now let me give you the context before I went to sleep. Ghana and Uruguay were tied 1-1 at the end of first extra time. I was praying Ghana would make it to the semis. I fell asleep almost instantly. I'd had a heavy dinner of vatha kozhambu and rice and curd and beetroot kootu.

And then the two part dream happened.

PART ONE - The NCC certificate.

I'm at this school NCC party. I'm 14 years old. The place resembles a temple corridor. The food is kept at various locations around the shrine (I never get to see what is in the shrine) and we are all going around with a plate in hand, it's a free for all, so there is chaos and confusion and everyone's pretty excited. But I am nervous. I'm on the lookout for Suri (Suryanarayanan, Science teacher and NCC head in school). I don't find him. So I muster up courage and enter his office room to try and flick a certificate. (I dunno why I'm doing that. It looks like I've not cleared the necessary requirements to earn it the right way) And as I am looking thru the room, the party seems to have come to an end and there are no ppl around. And Suri walks in and I get caught. He doesn't immediately punish me. He talks to me for a while, trying to figure out what I'm doing there etc. And the rest is a little hazy. But I remember feeling super guilty. And something about doing the right thing.

PART TWO - Three Vaginas.

I forget how the transition happened, but I'm in this room with two fantastic women. They are thirsting for my touch. And I'm salivating. They look young, eighteenish, and the place looks like a hostel room. And while I'm making up my mind who to get it on with, they start disrobing. I'm all nervous and excited. And with the encouragement of girl one I'm ready to enter girl two.

Enters this middle aged woman. She looks like the guardian/warden of the two girls. And they freeze on seeing her. She is looking at us strangely, trying to figure out what's going on. She starts to say something angrily, but she is also curiously fascinated by the proceedings. She comes closer, and some conversation happens and she's lying down in front of me and she raises her skirt. And there is this huge protruding thing that resembles a chewed up tree branch. It is green and brown and pink and looks something like a dried up clitoris. And I slowly pull aside the transparent piece of cloth on top of it and start licking it. And then I chew it. And I can see that the two fantastic girls have lied down on either side of this woman in the same position - legs spread apart, crotch raised for easy access. And my hands reach out.

I wake up hearing the alarm go off.

I spent the next hour in bed trying to figure out and interpret these dreams. I seldom remember my dreams but these two were vivid, almost conscious.

I thought the first one meant that I was looking for some discipline in life, some order. I figure NCC represents that. And Suri and guilt probably mean I need to face things and maybe look for a guru.

But the second part totally beats me! I mean why on earth would I be chewing on an old hag when I had these two lovely girls next to me?

An hour later I found out that Ghana had been cheated out of the world cup. Very disappointed.

More than anything else

the thing I hate the most

is feeling

left out.

That's what she said!

I never liked you
This is why I don't even think about you, this is why I'm not sad that we're done.

I hate the smell of your skin, I hate your lips, your tongue, your eyes. I hate your hair. I hate, oh my god, I hate your voice so much. I hate your attitude. The only good thing about you-your smile, and your touch. Both became overrated. I can't even stand you right now.



I had this urge to write something personal and serious. So I opened blogger and started typing something and then deleted it and then something and deleted it and then killed some more time like that. I gave up trying and opened my blog and was mindlessly reading what I'd written in recent times. Thoughtlessly I selected the title of the blog, right clicked, selected "search google for 'I never liked you'" and narrowed the search results to blogs. On the second page I found the piece I've copy pasted above. It's by Kate Romanova, a 20 something girl whose blogger profile states that her current location is Toronto, Canada. Go check out her blog http://kateromanova.blogspot.com She writes short, straightforward diary entry posts mostly about her life and friends and boys. The one above was posted on May 17th 2010.

Hahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahaahahahahahahahah! The minute I read the post above I burst out laughing! I can't stop sniggering even now. That post just made my day!
LOL. You just have to see this from my point of view! You'll be rolling on the floor laughing. And to think just two minutes before I read that post of hers I was feeling all sad and lonely and depressed. LOL! Thank You, Kate. Keep writing!
PS: If you are Kate Romanova, I'd be glad to explain thru a long detailed mail as to what your post is doing in my blog. Others, go figure.
PPS: For those of you who didn't find it funny enough, pls go watch all the "That's what she said!" moments from The Office put together in this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wf2pP7T0Y

Holy Cow!

There are two of them. Yes, two.

I saw them today. I've not seen the second guy before. Looks like a new ally.

He was keeping watch.

My pulse raced. I'd not felt this way since the first time I saw him. Or that night when I was high and I keep looking out of my window and nothing happened. I was excited that day. The anticipation of witnessing a peculiar, never-before-witnessed event was surging thru the veins. I could feel it in my groin.

I can feel it now.

This just graduated to the next level.

From a "get the fuck outta here!" bar anecdote to a "That is so disturbing, it'll make a freakin amazing movie!" story.

It will be made.

And you'll get to see it too.

Regret

I could've had it all. And I screwed up.

Billy: We did it, man. We did it, we did it. We're rich, man. We're retirin' in Florida now, mister.
Wyatt: You know Billy, we blew it.

-Easy Rider (1969)

PMS

So everyone who's come online in the last two days has seen this trashy rehash I guess.

If you were a little confused at the end as to what you are supposed to feel, I suggest you go read Krish Ashok or Vatsap rip on it.

I had a few misgivings.

1) Where's the Mile in Mile Sur Mera Tumhara?? I didn't see anyone mingle with anyone in this sorry ass jingle! They all came, hammed their bit and left.

2) Where is the hair-raising-goosebumps-giving ending of the original???

3) Where are the Cricketers?

4) What's with the water obsession? Why is everyone standing near or on some water body or other?

5) 16 minutes and not a single shot of a train! - EPIC FAIL.

Phir Mile Sur aka PMS. That should sum it up for you.

They should probably retract the video and apologize to everyone for this colossal waste.